When God walks with her, her weakness becomes her strength.
When God walks with her, she doesn’t worry about what tomorrow may bring, but she rejoices in the day.
When God walks with her, she is strong, she’s powerful, and she’s a warrior.
When God walks with her and she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t see imperfection; she sees beauty and knows she is fearfully and wonderfully made by the master who makes no mistakes.
When God walks with her, her kids see a loving, kind, praying mother.
When God walks with her, she walks with her head held high and ignores the looks of pity.
When God walks with her, she walks in victory, and she knows that she is a daughter of the king.
When I was sixteen years old, I got the news that I would be an aunt. I didn’t quite understand why this was happening, and I was not too fond of the change that would come with it. I was surprised to discover that my sister, only nineteen years old, was expecting a baby, and she was not married.
The news brought a little chaos to our house. My mother and father didn’t know what to do, and they blamed themselves. The stigma of being a single mother and its associated challenges created a lot of hardship for the family. And yet they knew the impending arrival would be a joyful event.
I’ve never been a single mother, and I cannot imagine what it’s like not to have a husband to help you when the kids are driving you crazy or when the housework is never-ending. However, I can tell you firsthand what it’s like to witness a single mother struggling to take care of her daughter and forgive herself for her bad decision.
I watched my sister stay up with her baby girl wishing the child’s father was there to help her. I watched as she walked through shame when people asked, “Where is your husband?”
I also watched my father take on the responsibility of fatherhood for his granddaughter. He took the place of a father who abandoned his child.
I also witnessed my father take great joy in his beautiful granddaughter after my mother’s untimely death. My niece was born out of a situation brought on by two people who did not take responsibility for their actions, but she became a light in the darkness after my mom passed away. My father was surprised by joy in a season of tremendous loss.
I saw my sister struggle to figure out how to provide for her precious baby girl, being a single mom barely out of high school with no education or career. It takes a village to raise a child, and she had a village rally around her, but a village can only do so much. She wondered, what good could come out of this? Sometimes in the darkness, we can find light if we look for it.
Becoming a single mother can come in many forms. Some may have had a relationship outside of marriage, and a child was born. Others are widowed or abandoned by their spouse. Whatever the situation, God has a tender heart for the single mother.
Genesis 21:17-20 tells the story of Hagar becoming a single mother. At Sarah’s request, Abraham sends Hagar and their child into the wilderness with nothing but a bottle of water and maybe some bread. In Hagar’s pain and suffering, God promised her that He would take care of her and the child.
2 Kings 4:2-7 describes a widow who became a single mom when her husband passed away, leaving behind a debt. The prophet told her to gather every jar she could find and fill them with the oil from her meager supply. The oil didn’t stop flowing until every jar was filled. She sold the oil to pay her debtors and lived off the rest. God helps a single mother in her time of need.
In Ruth 4:13-14, Naomi became a single mother when her husband passed away, and she was left with two boys who got married. Through it all, God took care of Naomi. After both of her sons died, God gave her Ruth, a daughter-in-law who would not abandon her. When Ruth remarried, Naomi received a new grandson. God walked with her and blessed her.
God told Elijah to go to Zarephath in I Kings 17:8-16, where a widow would provide for him. God set up an opportunity for Elijah to be fed and simultaneously bless a widow—a single mother. Elijah asked the widow for food and drink, and she gave him all she had. God sustained her with meal and oil because she listened to the voice of God and provided nourishment to the man of God. Once again, God provided for a single mother.
God has a heart for the widow and single mother who is doing everything she can to fill the role of mother and father for her children. Whether the cause is death or abandonment, God steps in and becomes the father to the fatherless (Isaiah 54:4-5, Psalm 68:55).
My sister’s life didn’t end with having her daughter out of wedlock; it only began. Today, she is married to a sweet husband; they have a successful business and four beautiful children. That baby girl graduated with a bachelor of science degree in medicine and is doing great.
If you are a single mother, I want you to know that God cares for you. He has you and your child’s best interests at heart.
It may be lonely, but God said, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:8, KJV).
Here are some ways you can bless a single mother:
- Support her.
- Love her.
- Encourage her.
- Praise her when she accomplishes a goal.
- Offer to help her when she needs it.
- Make her a spa gift basket filled with pampering items to enjoy.
- Lend an ear, but not advice.
- Don’t judge her.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 KJV).
For those who became single mothers due to poor decisions, remember that children are not a mistake; they are a blessing. God gave you the ability to choose life for your child, and He knows what’s best for your child and will provide all the tools necessary to take care of the blessing you have been given. Remember, when Hagar was cast aside, God told her that her son would be great; God didn’t forsake her.
“Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength” (Isaiah 40:28-29, KJV).