“…Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Luke 22:42
When God’s Will is Different from Our Will
This week commemorates the loss of one of my spiritual mentors. Sister Ann, a very influential woman in my life, was diagnosed with an invasive cancer. Prayer about the healing for her body consumed my prayers and I went on extended fasts and memorized every scripture I could find that said the word ‘heal.’
I had dreams of God miraculously healing her spine, eradicating every cell of cancer in her body, leading me to believe they were prophetic. However, on January 24, 2006, I received word of Sis. Ann’s passing. When Sis Ann passed away, it was like my faith died, too.
It was months, maybe even a year, before I was completely honest with how angry I was at God for not healing Sis Ann after all of my faith, effort, and sacrifices. I had more faith for her healing than anything else I have prayed for in my life.
God, in His grace and wisdom, began to teach me that it takes more than faith to move the His hand, but it takes His divine will.
I know now that it is up to me to be obedient to God’s word, and up to Him to be Sovereign in every decision He makes. I will never understand why God chose to bless heaven the day she travelled from a temporal world to an eternal one. Even 14 years later I still say out loud, “Oh Lord, You know.”
I am resolute to still pray for the sick, to pray for people to receive the Holy Spirit, to pray for the brokenhearted, and proclaim the word of the Lord. Why? Because our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever—I choose to trust His divine will, even when it is different from my own.
God does not always reveal His plan with a lighted path, sometimes the path He has for me will bend and wind through brokenness and pain.
I have asked myself, “Can I trust my destiny to God?” “Can I trust Him to provide for me?” “Can I trust God when I don’t understand?” When my flesh is weak, my prayer is, “Jesus, help me to trust You— I believe, but help my unbelief. Not my will, Lord, but accomplish Your will in my life.”