He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:3-4
This past week I have lost an aunt and my grandfather within the span of 24 hours of one another. Grief has a way of reminding you of what you are losing, but in rare moments, it also can remind us of what we never had.
Without going into detail, I will share briefly that my grandfather had no interest in forming a relationship with me, despite my feeble attempts over the years of sending him cards, calling him on his birthday and holiday’s, and visiting him when I was in town. He once gave me an old Bible of his—I cherished it because, to me, it was a keepsake. It wasn’t until I opened it one day and saw the inscription… Instead of writing, “To Angela, Love: Grampie,” he signed his name. My grandfather couldn’t even write Grampie, which is what I affectionately called him my whole life. My heart sank within me. I felt cold and distant from the love I craved.
I apologize if I’ve gotten too personal; I am still processing my thoughts and emotions. I can’t understand the actions of others and I certainly cannot explain them, but in my questions, I turn to God. I have admired the relationship my friends and loved ones have with their grandparents and I can honestly say that I have not been bitter or jealous, rather, I have been so thankful that they have a special bond. I can’t say that I haven’t longed for what they have though.
Thankfully, my daughter has hit the grandparents’ jackpot. Her grandparents on both sides completely adore her; I don’t think a tiny human could be loved any more than her and it makes this momma’s heart burst with joy. At Christmas time this year, I relished the moments she spent with our extended family and I cherish the memories that were made.
I personally know of so many people within the last few weeks who have lost loved ones. Grief has a way of depleting every energy reserve you have; it’s exhausting. Even the most menial task becomes overwhelmingly difficult to complete. While praying for my friends and family going through loss, and now myself, the Lord reminded me of Isaiah 53.
We serve a God who is acquainted with grief and worship a God who has carried our sorrows. If your grief is too heavy to bear, give it to Jesus. If your sorrow is weighing you down, give it to Jesus. His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). I’m thankful that we serve a God who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities (Hebrews 4:15). Today, whatever you are carrying, give it to Jesus—He cares for you!