“Good Morning” he says casually, as they pass in the hallway at work.
“Good morning!” she replied a little too cheerfully, hoping he didn’t notice her cheeks turning pink.
Man. She thinks. What is my deal?!
This is crazy. I’m married. HAPPILY married. Why does my stomach flip-flop every time I see this guy? Why do I catch myself wondering how I look, if he’s around? Thinking twice before I speak out if he’s there? Why is this happening? This has never happened to me before. I’m married!
After a couple of days where the friendly smiles gradually turned into butterflies, she did the unthinkable. She just couldn’t take it anymore. She had to…
She told her husband.
That’s right. She told him that a guy at work made her “get all nervous”. She told him because she felt like she was keeping a secret by not telling him. She had spent years telling him everything. Not telling him this made her feel like she was being dishonest or hiding something from him.
Upon hearing her nervous admission, he chuckled and said “OK. Thanks for telling me.”
What? No jealous rage? No anger? No accusations of “cheating”?! Wow…
She asked if he wanted to talk about it more, and he said “Nope. I know I have nothing to worry about.” Then he kissed her forehead on his way out of the room. Don’t you just love the kiss on the forehead?
The thing is, he was right. He had nothing to worry about. There was nothing “going on” and there never would be. Her marriage was way too important to her. They’d worked way too hard at safeguarding it. Which was exactly why she chose to tell him. It held her accountable and encouraged her to continue protecting her marriage with everything she had.
So what about those butterflies? That was just proof that she’s human. That’s it. Human. Normal.
It also proved that if she was not intentional about protecting and fighting for her marriage, it would be easy to allow her imagination to get away from her. It would be easy to seek the attention of someone else. It could be easy…but not an option. It’s not worth it.
Similarly, my husband and I have also made commitments in our own marriage to each other and to everyone around us that it’s “us” forever. We’ve placed a fence around our marriage and continue to build that fence up to protect what’s inside. This is also important because we realize the example we are setting for our children. It’s a powerful one that we want to protect.
We’ve taken extra precautions that may seem strange to some. We combined Facebook accounts when an outsider tried a little too aggressively to get “in”. We do not ride alone with the opposite sex to avoid the opportunity for rumors. We have “couple friends”, but the wife is my friend and the husband is his friend. We intentionally establish simple things like these to safeguard our marriage.
Are these “fences” a little too much? Not to us. We live in a real world where real opportunities exist that could tempt us to step outside of the fence that we’ve built and the commitments we’ve made. This is true of every marriage. What we say and do is important. Once trust is broken, it’s very hard to regain.
All of our important relationships need fences.
What about your most important relationships? What commitments have you made with others that you work hard to protect?
Take some time to consider your walk with God. This relationship, (your most important), is not exempt from outside temptations. Does He have anything to worry about in your relationship with Him? Is your commitment to Him secure? Do you protect your time with Him? Your reputation? Your word? Your walk with God needs to be protected with the same fierceness that you protect your marriage and other important relationships.
What are you doing to protect your relationships? This relationship?
Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:2 (NLT)
I encourage you to take some time and listen to “How He Loves” by David Crowder Band and read through Psalm 91. What a beautiful reminder of the love and protection that is available to us in our relationship with God. Enjoy the moment and soak in His love for you. If needed, recommit yourself to Him. Write down ways that you plan to be intentional, and name fences that you plan to build or secure. This can also be a time to focus on your marriage, and revisit the commitment you made on your wedding day.
There’s nothing quite like the peace and safety of a secure relationship, is there?