Love is a beautiful thing. When you are single, you may dream, “One day my prince will come,” like in the story Snow White. Then he comes into your life, and suddenly hearts seem to appear everywhere. You are in love — and he is too.
Then something wonderful happens. He asks those four little words:
“Will you marry me?”
You say yes, and a new life begins. You enter marital bliss… and then come baby one, two, and three. That once romantic life becomes filled with bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights.
Date night takes a back seat to raising your precious children. Candlelight dinners are replaced with frozen pizza or fast food. The romantic life you imagined looks very different from the reality of marriage and parenting.
But just because children come does not mean romance must end. Sometimes it just needs a biblical tune-up — and this is where God steps in. God cares about every part of our lives, even the small, everyday moments.
The Bible says:
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).
Marriage means you are one — one team, one body, united together. When you spoke those vows on your wedding day, “for better or for worse,” you spoke them with love and commitment.
Becoming parents does not mean your love life must suffer. Romance in marriage can be difficult, especially with small children, but we do not have to put it on the back burner. We can ask God to help rekindle the fire of intimacy.
“Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it” (Song of Solomon 8:7).
When I met my husband, we did almost everything together. We loved being with each other. After we got married, it felt amazing to live with my best friend.
But when our twins were born, life was not so romantic. Date nights were replaced with feedings, diapers, and takeout dinners because I was exhausted caring for two infant girls. Romance truly took a back seat.
We tried to spend time together, but it rarely worked. We would put the twins to bed, only for them to wake up again and end our evening plans. After having my girls, I also didn’t feel desirable. The baby weight affected my self-esteem, and that affected our romance.
One morning, tired and burned out, I asked my husband, “What happened to us? Where did the romance go?”
He said, “I don’t know. The babies make it hard to spend time together.”
With tears in my eyes I asked, “Is this going to be our life? No romance? No time for us?”
We realized something important: we didn’t want to just be roommates raising children. We wanted to still be husband and wife.
So we made a decision — we would intentionally put romance back into our marriage.
We began with small things. I started making his coffee and putting little love notes in his lunch. After the babies were asleep, we read the Bible together. When I had a hard day, he gave me a back rub or brought me flowers just to remind me he loved me.
We chose to make our marriage a priority and put God at the center of it. We could still be good parents while also nurturing our relationship.
The Song of Solomon reminds us that romance has a place in godly marriage:
“How delightful is your love, my bride… your love is better than wine.”
— Song of Solomon 4:10
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.”
— Song of Solomon 2:10–11
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth — for your love is more delightful than wine.”
— Song of Solomon 1:2
“This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
— Song of Solomon 5:16
Marriage is a beautiful gift, but romance helps keep it alive. When we invite God into our marriage — even into our affection and care for each other — our relationship is strengthened and blessed.
Our children are watching us. Let’s show them what a godly marriage looks like.
