Rediscovering Motherhood

“A mother who is selfless, loving, caring. A giver who gives everything in her life to make her children a good human being. A mother who ensures her child is competent with abilities, knowledge, skills to make her child so strong to fight with every battle. God made mothers make the world a better place.”

(Nusrat Zaha)

Being a mother is one of the most beautiful, selfless, and honorable things you can ever do, but motherhood is hard and may appear to come with few benefits. If you decide to be a stay-at-home mom, you may also experience many challenges and sacrifices.

“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee” (Isaiah 49:15, KJV).

Deciding to be a stay-at-home mom was something I didn’t think I would ever do. I thought having a career was more important than being a stay-at-home mom. However, when I was pregnant with my twin girls, I knew staying at home was the right choice for me.

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her” (Proverbs 31:28, KJV).

I didn’t want to miss out on the milestones—the hugs, the first words, the first steps; I wanted to be at home with my babies, soaking up the experiences, but I didn’t know how lonely being a stay-at-home mom would be.

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30 KJV).

All day, I took care of our twins while my husband worked to support us. I did my daily duties and had dinner on the table, yet I felt so lonely.

It got to the point where I thought I had made a mistake by staying home with my children. I missed interacting with adults. I still had some adult interactions at church, but my twins kept me busy, so I didn’t have any time for socializing.

I went to church exhausted. I tried so hard to stay focused, but when all you do is take care of little humans, it can take the joy out of your life and take a toll on your body.

I even felt like my relationship with God was failing. I was too tired to pray, and when I did, it was a God-help-me-prayer. Prayers that almost every mother prays when it feels like her kids are sucking the life out of her! I felt like I was on autopilot half the time.

My relationship with God was out of desperation. I needed God to show me why He chose this path for me. At the time, I didn’t see He was calling me to a greater purpose by being a stay-at-home mom to my twins.

“Motherhood is a choice you make every day to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is, … and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.” (Donna Ball)

God reminded me that I was doing something many women cannot do. The first was giving birth to live human beings; the second was that I had twins, and the third was that many women are widowed, single moms, or divorced, and they would love more than anything to stay at home and take care of their children.

God showed me that sacrificing my wants, dreams, and desires would reap benefits and give Him glory in return.

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13, KJV).

Being a stay-at-home mom can be so lonely, but in those times of loneliness, God says, “Come to me, spend time with me because you will find me in your loneliness. Come to me when you’re at wits end because the kids are driving you crazy.” When you feel like you’re being taken for granted because you’re the housekeeper, cook, or nurse, God says, “Come to Me.”

When you feel like the only thing you do at the end of the day is fall into bed exhausted, God says, “Come unto me and talk to me and I will give you rest.”

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29, KJV).

God’s great call for my life in this season was to be present in the lives of my children and my husband and by being the keeper of our home. Home is where we gather together after a long day, pray and have a meal. It should be a place of peace and love—where God is welcome.

“There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.” (Boyd K. Packer)

I am my kids’ mom, and no one else is more qualified for this position than me because God created me to be their mother. I’ve learned to cope with the loneliness, and I’ve also learned not to feel guilty when I need a break. When I feel lonely, I go to God, talk to my husband, and take time for myself.

Here are some tips that may help ease your loneliness when caring for your beautiful babies and allow yourself the rest only God can give you:

• Take a walk or a drive when life gets too stressful. Getting fresh air will help clear your mind.
• Pray and spend time with God.
• Talk to a friend; they can offer a shoulder to cry on when things get hard.
• Have a self-care night, put the kids to bed, and give yourself a facial; it will make you feel pampered.
• Talk to your husband about giving you some time to rest. Caring for children can be challenging, and rest will help you recharge.
• Understand that this is a season; your children will grow up, and it won’t always be this exhausting. Enjoy the season!
• Schedule a date night with your spouse, and rekindle the spark you had before the kids came into your life. Time together will revive you and develop a deeper connection.

“The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.” (M. Russell Ballard)

Book Recommendations:
Once A Mother, Always A Mother, LaJoyce Martin
Virtuous Women Far Above Rubies: They Radiate, Dedicate, and Consecrate, Joy L. Haney
Real Moms…Real Jesus: Meet the Friend Who Understands, Jill Savage
Better Together: Because You’re Not Meant to Mom Alone, Jill Savage, Anne Mcclane

Motherhood can be challenging, but we don’t walk the road alone. We have a Father who cares about us. If we focus too much on the life we could have had before or the life we want after the parenting season is over, we risk not being thankful for our blessings now.

Always remember, God called us to be mothers to our children because no one else is more qualified than us. A quote by Rudyard Kipling says it well, “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”