The Joy of Friendship

“That is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” (Romans 1:12, ESV)

I received a text message last week that said, “We need to get tea on the calendar.” I understood the message immediately. It meant we hadn’t talked in a while, and she was ready for some friend time. But with a cup of tea and an hour’s chat we were both ready to face the challenges of a new day. That’s what friends are for.

One of my frequent prayers is to thank God for the wonderful friends He has placed in my life. I cannot imagine a life without friends. In fact, according to Mayo Clinic, having friends is good for our health and can lead to enjoying a longer life. I doubt the friends on my social media account are the type of friends the good doctors at Mayo are recommending. We need real heart-to-heart connections, not the impersonal contact of online “friends.”

It has been said that friends come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It’s true. Not all friendships are of the forever nature, but we can embrace whatever time we are together. Whether for a short while or a long while, each relationship adds something to our lives.

The Bible can be used as “The Handbook of Friendship.” It helps us determine what makes a good friend and also cautions us on certain things to avoid when making new friends.

Traits of a Good Friend

What traits should we look for when developing a new friendship?

A true friend will support us and encourage us. When facing difficult situations, don’t try to stand alone. Allow your friends to pray for you and stand with you. “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NLT)

A true friend will laugh with us and cry with us. “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15, NLT). They will rejoice in our good times and console us in our sad times.

A true friend will prompt us to accomplish good things. “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24, NLT). Your friends may see qualities in you that you may not see in yourself. Allow them to challenge you to do good things with the talents you possess.

A true friend will lovingly correct us when necessary. “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy . . . The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense” (Proverbs 27:5, 6, 9, NLT). If a friend cares enough to confront us, we must listen to their words of caution.

Choose Carefully

The Bible also advises us about choosing the wrong friends. A close association with the wrong person can lead us into areas we would not otherwise consider. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray” (NKJV).

Be a Good Friend

Friendship is a two-way street. I cannot expect my friends to do all the giving while I do all the taking. Someone once in my circle of friends was a taker but not much of a giver. Most of the time she called only when she needed a favor. True friendship means loving and serving each other. Each gains from the relationship. Be the kind of friend you would like to have.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, ESV)

The gift of friendship is one of the best things I can give and receive. I’m so glad God placed that desire for relationship and connection inside each of us when He created us.

“Best friends are the people in your life who make you laugh louder, smile brighter, and live better.” – Unknown

Thank You, Lord, for giving me friends to support me, to encourage me, and when necessary to correct me. My world is a better place because of the people You have brought into my life.