Motherhood is the area of my life where I struggle the most to let go of perfection and grasp grace.  Being a mom has exposed the depth of my weakness.  I think its because the stakes are so high.  God has entrusted two eternal souls into my care. There is constant pressure to get it right in all aspects – faith, family, work and ministry. Do you feel this tug-of-war in your soul too?

Here are five ways moms can reject perfection and pursue grace:

Accept my imperfection and rely on a perfect God. Perfectionism leaves me exhausted and isolated, but grace gives me rest and connection.

God will use parenting to deepen my relationship with Him. He wants me to rely on His perfection and lean into His grace. My children don’t need me to be perfect.  They need to see me pursuing the only One who has never and will never let them down.

“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:2 ESV).

Abandon regret and comparison. Perfectionism enslaves me to my accomplishments, but grace gives freedom to find my identity in Jesus Christ.

I don’t have to be perfect to embrace grace. There is nothing I can do, say, or be. I am enough only because of God’s grace. The grace-filled life frees me to abandon what God has not asked me to be, so I thrive as a mother.

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV).

Acknowledge God’s power.  Perfectionism condemns me when I fail, but grace reveals God’s strength made perfect in weakness.

God isn’t asking me to impress Him.  He’s asking me to depend on Him. I have significant influence in shaping my children’s hearts, but God is sovereign. I can parent in confidence because God is in control and the grace He gives is unlimited.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV).

Apply the Word of God.  Perfectionism feeds frustration and forces my emotions out of control, but grace soothes my spirit and settles my heart.

I counterbalance the pressures of parenting with the promises of God’s Word. My limitations don’t irritate God.  He wants to do this with me! I fill my home and heart with God’s Word as a reminder that the standard is not perfection but the grace He has called me to.

“And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified” (Acts 20:32 ESV).

Activate God’s grace in your home.  Perfectionism teaches children to be good, but grace teaches children to be godly.

When I recognize how much I need grace, I tend to want to give grace to my children who make mistakes just like me.  God ordains imperfect moments as opportunities to direct little hearts toward a Savior who meets us right where we are.

“But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you—see that you excel in this act of grace also.” (2 Corinthians 8:7 ESV)


Julie is a writer who would rather read, a speaker who would rather listen, a joyful wife to Peter, and a determined mother of two. She is the More to Life director and editor of Reflections Magazine UPCI.

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